Holy Guacamole! This episode has certainly left an impression! Not sure what that impression is yet but, it is there, like a refrigerator door broken by a leg of lamb. (#WhereisRob) Let’s get down to crazy town and recap the insanity for you! (#WildRideAhead)
(DISCLAIMER: This recap includes my personal opinions regarding the podcast. All opinions expressed in this recap are mine and mine alone and may or may not align with other members of this community. These expressed opinions are of my personal feeling at the time I first listened to the podcast. Opinions may change over time. I also respect those that do not agree with me and ask for the same respect in return. #FreedomOfSpeech)
Once again, we begin with messages between Dot and Helena. (#FavoriteFunnyWomen) They are STILL discussing Jackie. (I wonder if poor Jackie’s nose itches all the time from so many people talking about her? #GossipGirls) Dot also tells Helena about her daughter’s wedding. It’s her second wedding (the first was to a man) and now, she’s married to her “friend,” who is a woman. Apparently, gay weddings are MOSTLY like regular weddings according to Dot. (#WhoKnew?) Helena doesn’t think she knows any lesbians, with the exception of her very nice butcher. But, the “gays” she does know are a hoot and they sure know how to have fun. Also, Barb died, and maybe she was a lesbian? (The transitions in these messages… I mean, we go from a gay pride parade to a funeral in one sentence. I would love to be a cat on the wall and really watch these women! #gaysarefun #funeralsaresad) Dot’s information regarding her daughter’s first marriage makes me wonder if Dot is Karen’s and/or Ellen’s mother? I have speculated on the possibility of a mother connection before, but now I am pretty certain. Oh, and Helena was arrested with Kris.
Josh contacts Sara with news we have heard before. Email Karen and the Strange Email Man share the same IP address. What DOES THAT MEAN? Sara is stunned. Well, Josh is going to contact Email Karen and see if he can get some answers. Sara is confused. It appears Email Karen has been a part of this since the days of the blog. Josh really feels like something is amiss. (Sure took you a LONG time to get your cat tongue back, Hallmark! LOL) Is Email Karen the Real Karen? Is she a fake? Why did Mark freak out about Email Karen contacting Josh? Is Fish Ellen the Real Ellen? (#SoManyQuestions) Fish Ellen feels authentic. Can we verify Fish Ellen and Email Karen? Oakland Karen? (I need a visual aid… I can’t keep up… maybe I need a #MURDERBOARD)
SHUT UP! Sara looks up a Karen who lived in the cottage (Jeeze, I’m confused. #SoManyKarens!) And, now we have Crochet Pants Karen! She lived in Berkeley. She has a blog! (#CrochetPants) Sara is laughing her head off about pink panties worn under crochet pants. (I REALLY need to see this blog!)
Can we connect Crochet Pants Karen to Fish Ellen?
Josh sends a message to Email Karen asking her to talk and BOOM, just like that, the legal net is thrown. Email Karen responds. She has been listening to the podcast. She was reading the blog. She read copies of the letters. She thought it would be FUNNY to insert herself into the narrative. (WHAT?!? WAIT?!? WHAT?!? #WHAT? #WAIT?WHAT?) She wrote the emails pretending to be Karen and she wrote the second email from Email Man JUST to mess with Josh. (YOU WHAT?!? WAIT?!? WHAT?!? WHO DOES THAT? HOW CRUEL! HOW MEAN! I mean, kinda funny but, #NotThatFunny) Email Karen is supposedly this person’s mother-in-law. She says Email Karen never lived with an Ellen. She never even lived in Oakland. This person has just admitted that she catfished Josh. She thought this whole thing was “really funny” and is/was a member of our beloved Roomies group. (#NotMyRoomie) But, our research made her nervous and once Josh included her fake letters on the podcast she decided the joke had gone too far. She claims to be sorry. (However, she waited for Josh to contact her….versus coming clean on her own, so, I’m not buying it, sister. #HowRude) And, she doesn’t want to come across as stupid or a bitch. (Clearly, you aren’t stupid. Yep, I called you a bitch. It was a bitchy thing to do. #sorrynotsorry) And, so, this concludes the story of Not Karen. (And, the beginning of a hysterical blog by Torey searching for the identity of Not Karen. Also, I am #NotNotKaren) And, since Josh has asked, #NotAWitchHunt
Quiet, bad karaoke. (#DamnIWishIwasYourLover)
Sara is back. (#DudeYouGotCatfished) Where does this leave the research? Obviously Not Karen is not Karen so, who is Real Karen? Sara checks her murder board for a possible new suspect. What do you know, Crochet Pants Karen seems to fit! (#IfTheCrochetPantsFitWearThem) Is Crochet Pants Karen the real Karen? Are Karen and Ellen actually real? Will we find them?
Blog post, dated May 19, 2016, from Crochet Pants Karen. She is obsessed with crochet and is modeling her latest crochet pants. (#CrochetGoddess) This blog is one long run on sentence all about crochet pants. (#madyarn)
Blog post, December 19, 2010. Crochet Pants Karen is excited for bumper stickers. She sees a car with lots of cool stickers and just can’t contain herself. Crochet Karen also has quite a collection of bumper stickers, which I believe are also amazing new hashtags. #1988 Bush/Quail, #GodBlesstheFreaks and my personal favorite, #IAteaKitchenSink! (Josh, if you don’t jump on this Marketing gem now and get this in your shop page, you may be missing out!) Also, it is hot where she is. It is even hot inside. So, she was in the water for two hours. (#RelevantInformation) And, they have to walk everywhere. (#CloseToDead)
Blog post, September 30, 2010. (#IndigoDoesntLiveHere #BetterThanBerkley) Also, Bill had a wake and there are really big cockroaches at the local hospital.
Blog post, May 1, 2017. Crochet Pants Karen is now almost 50 years old and updating her look. She still sews. (#FastestWayToMakeClothes)
Josh really feels these blogs are VERY Karen. However, he has a lead on a different Karen that is tied to Fish Ellen. (#MoreResearchNeeded #TheMysteryContinues)
Ellen is back with another mouse video! (#TeamEllen #PavedParadise #MiceAreFast)