Sara & Josh Interview Each Other

Sara Stapleton (Karen) & Josh have some questions for each other about the first half of Season 2.

Josh asks Sara:

1. As a listener, what has been your favorite part of S2?

In season 1, I had obviously read all the letters before, so there wasn’t much new and exciting aside from the ‘WHO ARE THEY’ mystery.  In season 2 even though I know most of the information Josh is sharing, I don’t know how he’s going to do it.  I absolutely love not really knowing what’s going to happen in each episode, so I feel like I’m hearing the story for the first time.  

2. So far, what has surprised you? 

Oh wow… the karaoke.  How funny Dot and Helena are.  How much Ellen homework there is. How much I miss reading Karen.  

3. As a producer/actor, what has been your favorite part of S2?

I’m really enjoying how the reveals are happening.  Josh has done a good job of sharing information much like how we got it – disjointed and REALLY confusing. 

4. What do you think of the narrative style?

I am in a love/hate relationship with the style of season 2 (see my love in #3) .  But I have difficulty retaining information from listening, so the disjointed nature of season 2 has been a bit mentally challenging, but luckily, I know most of it already!  LOL  If I didn’t have insider knowledge, I might have abandoned ship.  (Don’t hate me – hate my brain.)

5. What has been your favorite episode?

I think the upcoming episode 5 for obvious reasons.. It’s all about me…. I mean Karen. 

6. What did you think of Deana’s portrayal of Karen?

I TOTALLY loved it.  It was such a different take on her – less airheaded, more irritating. 

7. What has made you laugh the most, as a listener and/or actor?

As a listener:  Jeff.  Jeff as Mark and Jeff as Jeff.   
As an actor: Karen’s looping kills me.  I have had some students who do that in their writing and it drives me nuts.  It’s nice to be able to laugh rather than help fix it.  

8. What has been your favorite karaoke rendition thus far?

This past Saturday when I spent way too much money at a charity event to sing with a live band. 😉
I CAN’T stand listening to the karaoke on the show.  It’s like nails on the chalkboard to me.  

9. Tease us: What are you most looking forward to from episode 5?

Crochet pants!  And, OMIGOD, Josh chose some PRIMO material for me to read. Hilarious. 

10. What’s been your favorite fan theory?

All of them.  I love the rampant speculation.  And the crazy ones crack me up. 

11. Is there anything else I should ask you?

Am I 100% sure of what Josh has discovered about real people behind K&E?   TBA.  (Always wanted to say that!  hahahaha) 

Sara asks Josh:

1. Did you ever hear back from the handwriting expert?

I sure did.

2. What was the most surprising discovery you made in researching the letters?

There were four truly shocking discoveries (for me); three take place in the back half of the season. One shocking discovery that made me super nervous is coming up in Episode 5: Karen Karen Karen. I think it will be the revelation that causes the most chaos amongst the Roomies.

3. Are you 100% confident that you have solved the mystery of who the real Karen and Ellen are?

I am 90% confident that I have solved the mystery of who the real Karen is. I am 100% confident I have solved the mystery of who the real Ellen is.

4. How does it feel to be the keeper of secrets to rabid K &E fans?

There are days when I hate it. The Roomies and listeners have become my own Karen & Ellen family. And when I find crazy stuff out, they’re the first ones I want to tell. 

There are times, though, when I’m really excited to dangle narrative carrots for them, and sort of quietly lead them to shocking revelations later down the road.

5. How dare you tell Pappas EVERYTHING before me! (Not a question, just expressing my outrage)


6. Who is your favorite character?

I love, love, love Dot and Helena. They are the most natural addition to the cast of characters we’ve come to know and love. Adrienne and Lori play the parts brilliantly. And I think they so wonderfully capture the current American culture. Everything the real women say, cracks me up and endears me. Everything that gets adapted into, cracks me up and endears me. Every time Adrienne and Lori bring those things to life, I crack up and am endeared.

7. If you were casting a Karen and Ellen TV show or movie, who would you cast in each of the roles?

Young Karen: Kirstin Dunst? Anna Paquin? Natalia Dyer?
Young Ellen: Anna Faris?
Adult Karen: Shannen Doherty
Adult Ellen: Winona Ryder
Mark: Martin Short? Andy Cohen? Steve Buscemi?
Rob: Jack Black
Dot: Sally Fields
Helena: Ellen Barkin

8. I know Roomies send you Intel all the time. Have you discovered anything lately that has affected the season’s outcome?

There was one shocking discovery, that I’m still trying to fit into the season. I can’t say whether it impacted the outcome; but it was definitely the most jaw-dropping Roomie discovery.

9. Do you miss doing your voice narration?

It pops up from time to time, which is the perfect amount. I get sick of myself, a lot. Plus, writing my narration always stresses me out; it’s where I procrastinate the most.

10. If you had to choose one voice from K&E to narrate your life story, who would it be?

That’s a tough one. My initial responses are: David, Karen, Mark, Helena. David first because Chris Green sends me a bunch of improv as his character whenever he sends over recordings. They are truly hilarious. I want to do a bloopers episode for Patreon at some point; they’ll be in there.


An Interview with Sara Beth Poole (Ellen)

I was lucky enough to get a chance to ask Sara Beth Poole some questions about the podcast. (Holy Mary Christ! Ya’ll know I’m totally #TeamEllen and I was totally fangirl-ing when she agreed!)

Do you listen to the podcast? If you listen, what are your theories?

I do listen to the podcast! I genuinely love it, especially this second season as it is a complete mystery to me where this will all end up. Josh has completely left me in the dark as far as where the story is going which makes it really exciting to listen. I only have the vaguest of ideas based on the recordings I did. I don’t have any theories of my own, but I do think that some of the ones I’ve heard are plausible. The exception is the one where Ellen is Karen and Robs’ daughter, it makes no sense, why would she pay rent if she were their child??

How do you manage to not crack up reading the letters?

To be honest I do a lot of cracking up during recording! I send Josh edited files so the listeners don’t get to hear my bloopers.

Is Ellen’s voice your own or acting? How did you determine what Ellen’s personality would be? Has anyone ever recognized your voice as Ellen?

Ellen’s voice is higher and quite a bit more childlike than mine. She is so endearing and sweet and I wanted that to come across as soon as you heard her speak. I did a lot of character development for the staged reading we did years ago, but a lot of the quirks that make Ellen Ellen are things that I grew up with in my new-age household. Stuff like astrology, crystal healing, chakras, and gurus were totally normal topics of conversation for my mom and her friends, so I had a lot to draw on there. Ellen is largely an amalgamation of the hippy-dippy women I knew growing up with a healthy dose of naivete, sort of like Stevie Nicks meets Elmo. No one has ever recognized my voice as Ellen, but I have to admit I would love that!

Josh has stated you are not really on social media. However, do you know about the Facebook group? Do you know about the Roomies? How do you feel about being a celebrity to all the Roomies?

What little I know about the Facebook group I learned from the podcast and from a quick email Josh sent us during season 1 to let us know how much the podcast had took off. I had no idea I was a celebrity to the Roomies!! How exciting! I deleted my Facebook account after the election last year and I don’t see myself resurrecting it, but I am SUPER sad that I don’t get to interact with y’all in cyberland. I think it’s so interesting and cool that you all have been able to connect in a real way and make friends on the internet. I didn’t think that happened anymore!

Who is your favorite Karen and Ellen Letters character?

It’s so hard to pick a favorite character!!! I’m feel really connected to Ellen so my first instinct is to call her my favorite, but there is so much to love about everyone. Maybe it’s a cop-out to answer this way but I really love the way the characters have come to life through my fellow actors and I think we all do an amazing job.

Do you have a favorite letter? (Ellen’s or anyone else) Favorite episode?

Oh my goodness… it’s so hard to decide! In general I love Ellen’s letters the most because she is soooo loveable and sweet and truly hilarious. Thinking about it I have to say that the drug-sniffing dog letter is my #1, but I also really love the series of letters between she and Mark in which she opens up about being scared to go to Karen’s grandmother’s house. It’s a very vulnerable human interaction between she and Mark, and some seriously genius character development if these letters aren’t real.

What is your favorite “Ellen-ism”?

I love the way she talks about karma. It’s a concept she’s clearly very passionate about but little understands. I think there’s a lesson to be learned there about the ways that we impose concepts on others that we would do well to apply to ourselves or something.

Why do you think Ellen has a problem with Scorpios? What does THAT mean?

Haha!! In astrology, Scorpios have something of a bad reputation. Many expect them to be devious or perverse, secretive, controlling or vengeful. It’s the sign of Scorpions, snakes, and vampires. Ellen has clearly either had some very bad experiences with scorpios in her life or learned astrology from someone who has a bias against them.

Thank you, Sara Beth for sharing with us!

Season 2, Episode 3…WHAT DID I JUST LISTEN TO?

WOW! Just WOW! That is about all I can say about Season 2, episode 3. In my legal opinion; it was full of twists, turns and just a maze of insanity. This blog post will be in two parts. Part one will be the transcribed notes I took, in real time, while listening. Part two will cover additional episode information as well as a peek behind the After Show.

Here are the notes I took as I was listening to the episode for the first time. WARNING, this blog may not be suitable for all readers.

  • Josh? Did you fall down a well? Should I call Lassie to help you?
  • Mark wasn’t surprised to hear from Josh when he first contacted him. Hum?
  • Someone else contacted Mark previous to Josh to discuss the letters.
  • Misty WAS a girl. Duh.
  • Jackie is a red head who is married to Frank. Is this relevant information? Store it away for later just in case.
  • Patty. Patty with the crystals. (Lord help me if I ever make a friend named Patty because I will use this phrase constantly!)
  • Patty is an obnoxious talented artist. Ellen is it you?
  • Bouncing along to the familiar jingle.
  • Is this an airport sound? What’s up with all the sound effects this season? They MUST mean something. Or maybe they don’t.
  • Dear Mark….WAIT! WHAT? THIS ISN’T SARA! Or is it? Is Sara using a different acting voice? I know this voice. But, IS this Sara?
  • Oops, I missed what was said. I’m trying to figure out this voice thing.
  • HOLY CRAP! WHERE IS ROB? What is happening? Who IS this? Is this the right podcast? Is Josh messing with me? Is this some joke? Ha, not funny Hallmark.
  • UGH! What did Fake Rob say? I missed it. Are these the same old letters? I’m going to have to relisten.
  • I HAVE NO IDEA WHY STEVEN PAPPAS IS TALKING? Is This Adulting? This is weird. DRATS! I can’t pay attention to anything being read. I’m barely listening to what is being said.
  • This is all kinds of wrong.
  • DONNA! Donna, why you Ellen?
  • Hum….there must be a REASON for this. Are these some kind of audition tapes? Is this representative of finding voices for the show? Is this an audition for the live shows? Maybe a theater show?
  • You pod people need to go back to your own shows. This is like being at a Persian Bizarre.
  • Freaky.
  • I’m totally lost. I’ve quit listening. I’m still trying to figure out who Fake Karen was….I don’t think it was Sara. But, I KNOW that voice. Ugh….which podcast host is that? These are all podcast hosts!
  • Steven, can we get a mental health check in?
  • mute = moot. STILL FUNNY.
  • Steven isn’t so bad…when I actually LISTEN. It’s just alarming to hear him in this role.
  • Donna has the cutest voice. I could get used to Donna as Ellen. I’d still cry over Sara Beth not being Ellen though.
  • I keep waiting for Donna to giggle. Will she giggle? I don’t think she’s going to giggle. What’s the Varmint! this week, Donna?
  • CUT!
  • CUT!?!?
  • I still feel bad for poor Leslie.
  • So, this IS a show! OH MY GAWD!
  • Hum…..someone contacted Mark BEFORE Josh….was it about a show?
  • At least the pod people voices make slightly more sense now.
  • BAD KARAOKE! “Tell it to my heart….” HELP! My ears may bleed. This is BAD. But, catchy. Ugh, it’s going to be stuck in my head. Damn you, Hallmark!
  • Sara and Josh…please, make heads or tails of this! I need info!
  • “The more it makes sense, the less it makes sense.” PREACH!
  • Wait? This does NOT add up.
  • Karen had a kid before Rob too! IS ELLEN THAT KID?
  • Doing the math. This isn’t right.
  • Are time lines off? Were letters altered in the time line?
  • Something doesn’t add up. It smells like avocado. Hee hee….avocado. I crack myself up.
  • Records of who lived in the cottage doesn’t include Karen.
  • Didn’t Mark state that Karen’s dad co-signed lease? Maybe it was in his name and therefore, Karen wouldn’t be on lease but, her father would.
  • But, Ellen’s name IS on a lease. Sara confirms it is an Ellen who has a SUPER Jewish name, is an artist, into natural healing and lived in Portland! Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
  • Sara’s Ellen also paints FISH! FISH!
  • Are these letters even real? At all? Or just made up? I mean, its a fascinating story but, maybe it is all fake.
  • I need to see these prints of fish. Now.
  • Josh snoops on Sara’s Ellen and says she’s pretty! OF COURSE ELLEN IS PRETTY! She’s an angel. #TeamEllen.
  • Two different timelines?!?
  • Possible Jewish pickle factory owners.
  • (I can’t even translate what I wrote next….it’s A LOT of arrows. Like a paper murder board. I need a cork board, push pins and red string. STAT!)
  • Josh, HOW DID YOU VERIFY EMAIL KAREN? I want to know your vetting process.
  • Patricia….Patty? Patty, with the crystals? One in the same? I mean, come on….they have to be, right?
  • Patrica is a visionary. Wind chimes are playing. Pain? Joy? Seekers? Psychly? Is psychly a word? Da Fuq is happening?
  • I want a pet portrait done of Jewelie….how do I make that happen?
  • What’s a SOUL MAP?



I Can’t Wait To Get Over The Wall: A Recap, and A Lot Of Questions

After the hundreds of questions that Episode 1 threw up, we are left with even more after Episode 2. I would definitely say that it is the craziest and most mind-boggling episode yet of The Karen and Ellen Letters.

We start, as last week, with Helena and Dot, back in 2012. The accompanying video lets us know that Helena is in Mendocino, CA.
Helena goes down in my estimations immediately. Referring to the recently departed Misty as a “he.” Talk about disrespecting the dead!
Helena seems a real Debbie Downer.
She doesn’t like the heat. She doesn’t like cruises. She doesn’t like the price of antiques these days.
“Why pay $40 for something that was $10, 30 years ago?” she queries.
Although, maybe she does have a point here. Depreciation is a real thing!
However, genuine antiques will of course increase in value.
Take a Cellini mermaid clock for example. Its value would surely increase by at least 34.4% annually?

Do we think that Helena has echoes of Karen about her?
Picking fault, moaning, and questioning the cost of things?
I’m not sure. But they’re not completely dissimilar.

We hear from Josh, about the journey he has been on, with both the podcast, and the letters. About how Season 2 really started taking shape once Jeff (who plays Mark), had told Josh about the “lost letters.”
Josh describes how what is real, and what is not, has become fluid, and is constantly merging.
I think that is a fitting description of this episode; and leads perfectly into what comes next.

To me, this is the most perplexing and mysterious letter to ever be featured on Karen and Ellen. (So far.)
Josh explains that he originally dismissed it as being in the file incorrectly. It isn’t even signed. However, both he and Sara feel they are fairly sure now who wrote it.
(They’re not sharing of course!)

The writer is female, and the recipient is someone called George. Presumably a man, but could be a woman possibly?
The only George we’ve heard brief mention of before, is George Bush, when the links between Karen and the Bush family were mentioned. Surely, it couldn’t be to him???
Our anonymous writer asks after him and his kids. She’s bored and fed up.
She’s locked out, and won’t be able to get back in until her landlord comes after dinner.
She just has to sit and wait for “mail call.”

I wondered if this was an American phrase that I hadn’t heard before. Looking it up, the first results that came up were for a TV show about the US military, that had aired in the 2000s.
Reading on, I don’t think the author was drumming her fingers, waiting for her favourite programme to come on. “Mail call” in this context, seems to be the distribution of mail, in some form of institution.
And I’m 90% sure that the institution is Prison!
The writer’s friend Jennifer has left, to go to Chowchilla. Which, Google reliably informs me, is a Central California Women’s Prison.
Our author wants to get out too. But not to another prison.
She can’t wait to get over the wall, and is certain that her life will be different afterwards.

She is getting angry now. She hasn’t heard from George. He told her to write, but doesn’t reply. It has been 5 years, and she’s fuming.
It’s not just George. Nobody is replying to her letters.
She’s not going to “carry on wasting envelopes she doesn’t have.”
Now is it just me, or does that definitely sound like a Karen or Ellen-ism?

She is not going to write anymore. Or until George writes back.
This writing to George, to tell him that she isn’t going to write to him anymore; is reminiscent of Karen calling Mark, to tell him that she’s still not speaking to him.
(Season 1, episode 10).
Surely Karen couldn’t have ended up in prison?
Was there one mess that even Daddy or CW couldn’t get her out of?
The “landlord” reference seems out of place. Could it be a nickname for a member of staff? Or a Freudian slip, from past correspondence?

Whoever she is, she is very angry and upset that nobody bothers to reply to her. (Where’s Mark when you need him?)
She vows that things will be different, once she gets out.
I hope that we find out who she is, and if they were.

After writing my notes from the audio episode, I then listened again with the accompanying video. What stood out, is that the letter is estimated as being from “before 1990”.
This confuses things even more!
From the tone of the letter, I was leaning towards the author probably being Karen. But that dating would put it extremely close to when she was giving Mark almost daily headaches, as his tenant.
I don’t know what to think now!

After a pretty dark, and intense start to the episode; some more atrocious karaoke, courtesy of Di’s bar; serves to lighten the mood.
(I’m wondering if this is just a random find by Josh; or could it be someone we know? I wouldn’t put it past Josh to sneak that in!)

It’s time to hear from Ellen!
She’s back on Mark’s case about that free firewood again.
But there’s a bit of a preface from Josh first. This is some of the correspondence that makes up the “lost letters;” and they’re troubling somewhat.
There are subtle differences between some of these letters; and the ones that Josh already had.
If some of the letters have been changed, what else has?
There are already some suspicions over some of the most ludicrous of Ellen’s writings. For example, the Roger Rabbit letter; and the drug-sniffing dogs article.

Ellen comes across less ditzy in these new letters; and more petulant and selfish. Fairly “dog in the manger,” and rude.
Childlike maybe?
I can’t help but think of the theory at the end of Episode 1, about Ellen being Karen’s and Rob’s daughter.

Just as I’m questioning her, Ellen pulls it back.
With a completely ludicrous, but totally Ellen-like request, that Mark creates a fireplace in the cottage. So that Ellen can make use of the free firewood that she is obviously entitled to.
Of course, Guru Lahera would need to be consulted over the Feng Shui aspects of the decision.
Ellen would like a marble fireplace; Karen prefers pottery. This is more like the Ellen we know and love!

But to echo Josh’s thoughts, why are the letters different?
Has someone invented or embellished some letters? Mark?
Remember when Angry Karen contacted Josh in 2012? When requesting that the blog be taken down, she says:
“I want you to erase the things I said in there. Especially the things I didn’t say.”
Is some of it completely made up?

Back to the episode, Ellen and Mark are dealing with a whole new problem.
And it’s brilliant.

Ellen has an ant infestation in the kitchen. They won’t leave, despite her yelling at them.
Mark apparently already knows this, as he has heard Ellen yelling, from his office.

He can hear her???

Is this Mark at his facetious best, saying that he can hear Ellen, despite being miles away? Because she’s being so loud?
Or does he really live very close to the girls?
If this is the case, why the need for the letters at all?
Unless they were more like notes passed back and forth, under door mats. This would explain the sometimes very rapid succession of letters.
(And the reason that Karen never bills Mark for postage!)

Getting back to the pressing problem of the ants, Mark wants to kill the ants, with a spray made from orange peel.
(Only Mark would have an ant spray made from the peel of a thousand Blood Oranges…)

Ellen is horrified.
She does not want the ants murdered, and needs time to think.
Mark agrees to wait; which I did think was slightly strange for a landlord with a pest-control issue. Although, we have seen Mark exercise (or is it exorcise?) extreme patience and restraint with the girls before.
Ellen reports the sad passing of 10 ants; and wonders if the soap found close to their bodies is a prime suspect.
Not a totally outlandish suggestion; as we know the soap has previously led to the death of other animals.
(RIP Extraordinarily Clean Fish.)

Mark reveals to Ellen that she will be killing ants daily, just by walking around.
Ellen debates whether it will be safe to walk outside, ever again!
She starts catching and releasing the ants outside; and also seeks advice from her mother.

We haven’t heard too much of Ellen’s family before.
In this instance, Ellen reports that her mum is straight to the point; telling Ellen she has too much time on her hands.
She suggests that Ellen’s time could be better spent, helping make gift baskets and brownies for the church.

We need to pause a moment here.


Towards the end of Season 1, there was a lot made of the fact that Ellen was Jewish; and was having to deal with anti-Semitism from Karen’s Grandmother.
There was that fairly emotional exchange of letters between Ellen and Mark in Season 1, episode 11; in which Mark offers advice, and personal narrative.
Surely that can’t all have been made up?
But something is amiss here.
Even Ellen can’t mix up “church” and “synagogue!”
She also apparently showed her mother Mark’s letters about dealing with anti-Semitism.

There has been a big focus on Ellen so far this season.
She must be real, as Bonnie has requested her letters, for whatever legal wrangling is going on.
We know that Karen, Rob, and Ellen have all been found.
It seems impossible at the moment to untangle what is real, and what isn’t.
(I need to make a mental note to ask Josh whether or not he has ever managed to trace Bonnie, or Charles Worthington.)

Back with the ants, in a sudden turn of events, Ellen has had a change of heart.
She rather flippantly announces that Mark can now spray the kitchen, as she has “lost interest in the ants.”
This seems very dismissive after how passionate she seemed previously about saving them.
Is this just typical Ellen short attention span?
Or perhaps the “creator” of the letters got bored of the subject…?

Speaking of subjects, Mark’s last correspondence in this episode is to forward some homework of Ellen’s that he’s found, to Bonnie.
The subject in question is Geography.
There is a lot of it!
I won’t go into it here, but there are some real gems, which I will highlight in a separate post.

From Ellen’s perplexing homework, we finally get to hear again from the even more perplexing “Detectives.”
The male detective, who I’m reliably informed is called David, is yelling at Leslie.
Demanding to know the status of the “special project.”
A rather harassed-sounding Leslie assures him that the whole team is en route, and that there’s a meeting on Tuesday.

What can all this be about?

My gut feeling was that it is probably connected to the Yahoo political forum conversations from 1999; briefly featured in Season 1.
The contributors are discussing a possible scandal linked to the Bush family.
One of them even claims to have a copy of the letters.
However, thanks to the video that goes along with the episode; we know that the Detectives conversations pre-date this; coming in 1998.
Can they still be linked?
Is the person claiming to have copies of the letters, the same person who emailed Josh back in 2013?
And is this in turn, one of the keepers of the “lost letters”?
Or are they all separate people?
Just how many copies of these letters are there???

We’re all in need of a huge exhale after all that; and it comes in the form of another mouse-release video from Ellen.

A piano plays us out, and I’m as usual hoping that it’s Annette.
And with that, it’s a wrap for Episode 2!
If anybody thinks they have the answers to any of the many questions, please share them.
I’m still as confused as ever!

Go Little Mouse. Go. (Season two, episode two recap)

We start the show off by what sounds like an ultrasound of a baby’s heart beat. (Well, that’s intriguing. What could that mean?)

The familiar ding letting you know you have a message. The writer (Who I assume is Helena from the last episode? Listed as in Mendocino, California in 2012 from the video.) is replying to Dot. Poor Misty. Rest in peace, you were a cute little guy. Isn’t Jackie from the cul-de-sac bridge club? Patty, with the crystals, is married to Paul now. What a floozy! Helena prefers to stay put. She doesn’t want to go on dates and doesn’t like cruises. Helena does go to Scottsdale sometimes. She went to Mexico once… and the antiques were so cheap! Really, why buy antiques now? They are so expensive compared to how much you paid for the same thing 30 years ago. (I mean, this is sound logic, isn’t it?)

Josh reflects on the podcast and the letters. (Very introspective.) The journey of the letters from a funny story, shared with friends, to a podcast and the mystery surrounding the writers. We learn that Jeff Powell (the voice of Mark) has sent Josh an email that changed everything. It contained additional letters. Letters that were not in Josh’s original gift. (HUZZAH! Season Two material!) Josh and Sara begin delving into the “lost” letters. (HUZZAH! A murder board was born!) And an unsigned letter, written prior to 1990, that felt like a mistake resurfaced and possibly had more of a connection than originally thought.

This is MY transcription of that letter:

“George, hello. How are you doing? I hope everything is going well. For you. I hope everything is going good with your kids and all the changes. As for myself, I’m bored as Hell. I went out briefly today and watched TV with a friend. Of course, I locked myself out and now I have to wait until after dinner for my landlord to come let me back in. So, I’m just kicking back waiting for mail call until then. So, I can get more depressed. I’ve got a cold or the flu and I feel like shit. Damnit, my back hurts like Hell.  I need someone to rub it. But, there’s no one here. My friend, Jennifer, left today. Remember, I told you she’s got the shit? She had to go to Chowchilla. I can’t wait to get over the wall. Well, the mail just came. No new letters from you. I know you told me to write. And, if you’re not going to write I would appreciate it very much if you would just let me know what’s up with one fucking letter and I won’t bother you anymore. After over five years you can do that much, can’t you? I am so upset. I can’t believe I’m still writing. You would think I would get the hint by now. Well, I am not going to keep wasting envelopes, I don’t even have, on someone that doesn’t write back. So, I won’t bother you anymore. Or, at least until I get a letter from you. And, it’s not just you. No-one has written me back. I give up. But, when I do get out, I know things are going to be different. I KNOW things are going to be different for me.”

Who is this mystery person? Who are they writing? What wall? These are all questions we have yet to be given answers to. Is this person in jail? A half-way house? A mental institution? It is both perplexing and frustrating.

Another bad karaoke interlude. This one, “Head to Toe”, at Di’s Karaoke in 2014.

Back to that email and additional “lost” letters Josh received from Jeff. Our host reminds us of the firewood letters from season one, episode three. There are several more letters pertaining to the free firewood, along with some that were slightly different from those Josh had. We hear the original three letters followed by the “lost” versions of those along with an additional five more! (Sorry, Ellen, no new fireplace for the cottage. Mark is being stingy with the free firewood!) But, wait, there is still more!

New letters have surfaced between Ellen and Mark regarding an ant problem in the cottage’s kitchen. I discovered a few new gems of information from these letters. (My Ellen obsession continues!) Ellen has tried yelling at the ants to get out but, they just won’t leave. (Maybe she should try washing them?) Mark tells Ellen he knows she is yelling because he can hear her from his office. (MARK’S OFFICE IS NEXT TO THE COTTAGE?!?! So, why are they writing letters? I’m super confused here. I would expect Karen to just march over and bang on his door when she wanted to discuss something.) As they continue to go back and forth regarding the ants and how to rid the cottage of them, Ellen tells Mark she is going to meet her mother at their church to bake brownies for gift baskets. (Did you read my Ellen blog post? Do you have your own Ellen “murder board”? Have you figured out the next gem yet?) Ellen’s mother lives close by! Close enough that they attend the same church. BUT, WHY IS ELLEN GOING TO CHURCH? She’s JEWISH! (Remember?) Would’t she say she was going to synagogue? SOMETHING DOES NOT ADD UP!!! (Or does it?)

Jump to San Francisco, California 1989. Mark is writing Bonnie again. He is sharing school work that was left in the cottage by Ellen. It’s her Geography 101 work done in August of 1988. I’m pretty sure she failed Geography 101. (This homework warrants its own blog post. It’s hysterical!)

Now we move in time to Manhattan, Kansas; 1998. The two detectives are back and they are discussing the status of their “special project”. Maybe they aren’t detectives at all? Poor Leslie, she sounds more like an under appreciated secretary in this segment. (Dude seems RUDE.)

Washington State, 2016. Ellen has posted another mouse release video again! This trap is different from the last one she used; it’s a different brand…she thinks.

Go little mouse. Go.











Season One, so many questions!

Dear Josh,

I want you to know that I listened to season one of The Karen and Ellen Letters and I have something to say about that. I say I have a LOT of questions. I need to ask these questions of you so that I know what will happen when you answer my questions.

  1. Did you find Ellen? Is Ellen pretty? I bet she’s pretty; respite what I heard on your show. I bet she’s a magical, crafting fairy who lives in a sparkly house filled with rainbows and chocolate.
  2. Are Rob and Karen still married? Did they go on a second honeymoon to Italy? Did Karen ever buy Venetian blinds? Are Venetian blinds allowed in her jurisdiction? I bet Rob can get a court order to allow them. Is Rob a famous lawyer now? Or, maybe a judge? I can see Rob as a judge. Rob should judge “America’s Got Talent.”
  3. What does THAT mean?
  4. Are Ellen and Rob related?!? I wonder if they are siblings? Or cousins? Someone somewhere is related. I believe this in my heart. I’m very confused as to them all being educated together. Were they home schooled? Did they get kicked out of real school? What kind of patience and skill must a teacher have to work with Karen, Ellen and Rob on a daily basis? Did Rob take over and teach because he’s so smart?
  5. Did Karen and Rob have a boy or a girl? Or did they have a girl or a boy?
  6. Why are Karen and Ellen no longer friends? Didn’t they pinky swear to be BFFL? If they had pinky swore they have broken the unbreakable vow of best friendhood. That is bad karma.
  7. I need to know more about Maaarrrrk. Does Mark hate cats? Is he on blood pressure medication now? I’m not a stalker (or am I?) but, an internet expedition uncovered some information I need to know. You stated in a comment on November 24, 2011; “After I began blogging I tracked down Mark and interviewed him regarding the girls. That interview, among others, will appear once the letters have all been published on the site.” I need that interview. This is less of a question than a request. I can trade you a cat painting and a wall cabinet.
  8. Who is “you know who”?
  9. What did the handwriting expert find? You are going to share that in season two, right?
  10. I think a list of ten questions is a better than a list of nine. So, my final question is, what is your favorite color?

As you can see, these are questions I have to ask to find out the answers to my questions and I sincerely hope that you will answer these questions in season two. I expect season two will be just as terrifical as season one…if not, I’ll have the legal net dropped on you.

Love and Avocados!