I was a little confused when Josh sent us through this episode.
As it had the same title and description as Episode 9, from Season 1.
However, I just presumed that he’d had too much wine; or not enough coffee; or both.
It turns out that it wasn’t a mistake; and all will become clear. Well, maybe not clear…..
Anyway; here goes. This is my stream of consciousness, as it happened.
Josh sounds funny. Is he on the phone?
When was he talking to Mark? Why were the letters on the internet; and who put them there?
Yes! You tell her Dot. Misty was a girl.
Stop with the Fahrenheit, you crazy Americans.
Well, Jackie sounds like a lazy-arse!
Actually, she sounds a lot like Karen!
Why does everyone they know die? Must be the soap.
My money is on Helena not remembering.
Patti! The floozy!
Watch your handbag, as well as your husbands apparently.
OMG. Patti is an artist.
IS SHE ELLEN???
Pet portraits! Yes, commemorate Misty.
If she’s a thief and a floozy, I highly doubt it Dot…
Is this a plane? Where are we going now?
Who is this?
THIS IS NOT SARA!
Deana??? How come?
Well, I’m sure Rob will sort it.
BUT THIS IS KAREN’S LETTER.
Who are these imposters?
We have heard these letters… but why now again?
WHAT IS GOING ON?
“Karen” needs to be one of the drinking words for the Aftershow.
Are these letters exactly the same? Need to check. E.g. “Legally Yours”.
Could these be slightly different versions again? Some bits seem different, and longer.
THIS IS STEVEN!!!
WHAT IS HAPPENING?
This must be a parallel universe.
Why are the voices different?
DON’T CHANGE ELLEN, GOOD GOD
(I still love you Donna.)
Didn’t work long enough?! Wasn’t it 20 minutes?
The Christmas Tree Farm will forever be my favourite.
I love how they brazenly ask Mark for jobs.
Rob is good with electricity. Not so good with gas though…
I wonder if they ever got another job? Ever?
I actually can’t cope with these different voices.
JOSH. What the F is going on?
I still love that Karen asks Mark to help her sue him.
Steven. Stop it.
I would respond to Rob.
Well, anyone could get abortion muddled up with jurisdiction…
Mark must have no life if he’s writing on Boxing Day.
Read and re-read. As if that will make any difference.
That’s right. Bullet points may simplify. Good call.
“No, I won’t help you sue me”. How selfish.
But it’s a great cat painting. Just some tongue damage.
Oh, please do rent to Karen again.
Again, I would respond to Rob. Write to me.
“VERY sincerely.” He means business now.
Now Rob is writing on New Year’s Day. They really do have no lives.
Karen has read the bullet points, and doesn’t give a shit.
Take your bullet points and shove them, Mark!
Well, maybe it wasn’t on purpose. But you did break quite a lot, Robert.
Oh yes, so unfair to not help someone sue you.
“My client Karen”. Lol.
Oh Christ, the cat painting is no more. RIP. Say hi to Misty.
“Visual ipecac.” I’d forgotten that gem!
But these are still all the wrong voices.
JOSH. EXPLAIN PLEASE.
Speaking of bad karma, I think Josh is due a dose…
Doomed baseball stadium? Baltimore? I don’t recall this.
We know you have no idea Karen. And yes, you are dumb.
Almost 200 dollars!
Why didn’t they take these with them?
OMG, it’s that flipping detective.
WERE THEY FILMING?
It’s like the Truman show!
Where the F is Lesley? She’s always AWOL.
Hello? Explain please, Joshua.
I love this song!
Oh, maybe not by karaoke lady…
I’m singing along anyway.
Ooooooh, Josh and Sara! Is it Reveal Time?
TELL US ABOUT ELLEN!
Give us the research!
Karen & Rob – is it really them?
Of course he’s rich!
A daughter from a previous marriage? Did Patti steal her husband too?
Wait. 2 previous kids?
A son together? DAMIEN!!!
Wedding photos? We need to see these.
No Josh, it definitely doesn’t make sense.
So Karen is confirmed…?
12 years too old for the letters?
A minute to marinate. Lol. Josh is cooking. So is my brain.
Ellen is not a child! Of Karen’s. Good
There’s records of a Karen living there.
Age was off though, so discounted.
Blimey, poor Mark had to deal with 2 Karens.
But a Jewish name? Please be Ellen.
SHE IS ARTISTIC!
PRINTS OF FISH?! Shut the front door!
PTSD from fish-washing? I’m dying!
Surely this has to be Ellen.
Please let this be Ellen.
Ooooh, she’s the right age.
How can there be no connection?
Did Mark combine them?
An amalgamation of his craziest tenants?
There can’t be another Karen, because “email Karen” emailed Josh.
I DON’T WANT TO BELIEVE EITHER!
SHOW US THE FISH!
Of course Ellen is beautiful. Mark’s a bitch.
Yes, this is a lot of information.
My head hurts.
A PICKLE FAMILY?!
This is my favourite Sara revelation so far.
Oh god, I’m dying! Again!
Just make up a connection. We’ll take Jewish.
I think Mark may have combined the two.
But then didn’t Email Karen confirm to Josh, that she knew Ellen? So Ellen must be real?
Ellen wouldn’t have been there as a child, surely?
Sara said she was a tenant. So 18+?
Karen’s been around.
9 years between marriages.
Did her children live there? They must have done.
I’m so confused right now.
Maybe Email Karen rented a different property of Mark’s? But she mentions the car wash etc?
Karen & Rob can’t be connected to the cottage.
Fish Ellen connected to cottage, but not Karen & Rob.
I don’t want it to be fake.
Oooh, who’s this?
PATTI WITH THE CRYSTALS!!!
IS PATTI ELLEN?!
Definitely sounds crazy enough.
“Seekers”. OMG, it is a cult! Nicki T was right!
IT IS ELLEN/PATTI! Pet portraits!
She has definitely immortalised those fish.
Soul-maps! Like the astrology.
I definitely need a map to navigate this episode.
Stop it with the bells.
DON’T LEAVE IT THERE!!!
I need a lie down. Bloody Hell.